Rantings and Reflections

I was going to blog about my room, but my ribbon and necklace hooks fell off of my bulletin board today. It crashed to the floor, which was depressing because it was a happy sight on my wall, not only because I love ribbon and jewelry, but because it was a happy reminder of home. The loss of my hooks made it so that I have to leave my hooks on my bed, so I can't take a picture of how cute all my bedding looks. Soon, I will transfer said hooks to my desk, so the desk photo op will also be ruined. Bah. I will more thoroughly secure my hooks tomorrow, and document every aspect of my new dorm room.

After saying goodbye to my parents last night, I'm feeling a little emotionally unstable. I was

mostly okay today, and even had a lot of fun with my roommate, girls from church, and Charlotte, but when things slow down I fall into a blue state. After dreaming of going to BYU my whole life, I now find myself wishing I was back home, where I know what I'm doing. I realize that now is the time to challenge myself, become and individual, and become an adult. Right now, though, I just want to be back home. 

This probably isn't helping me feel better. I'm just trusting that things will get better, which I know they will. I've only been here for one night and almost a full day, so I guess I'm doing pretty well. 

On the positive side, I made good progress extending myself socially. Already, my roommate and I have bonded over similar homebody tendencies, but also through several attempts at breaking from those. Sitting by myself in the dorms definitely makes homebody-ness pathetic. I did spend the time after church and before the floor meeting in my room, feeling a little blue, but recovering after scripture study, more unpacking, and y favorite lunch of Pink Lady apples, cheese, Goldfish crackers, and Pepsi. Oh, and a little Gilmore Girls goes a long way in improving potentially lonely lunches. 

In continuance of my recap, I've been SO BUSY! I was feeling super overwhelmed on Friday after spending the day visiting my new job, buying $500 of text books, walking around the giant, endless campus, and setting up my room. Mom made me pose in front of the I.D. Office with my new student card. It was fun to embrace the dorky new Freshman image. I forgot my camera for the football game. !*%@!% It was so hot, and my seats were on the very top bleacher. It was fun wearing my new BYU t-shirt and cheering on the Cougars. I was in a weak section, though, with a bunch of freshman who weren't big cheerers. They'll catch on. 

There's so much more to talk about, but I'll have to write more later. Blogging therapy improved my spirits, and I might be feeling just stable enough to call Mom. Tomorrow, I'll organize my closet, find my classes on campus, run a couple errands, and try to stay busy. I'm ready for classes and work to start so that I won't have time to be sad. I do feel a little lame for being in before 10, while my suitemates are going to game nights and everybody is doing other social activities. I have talked to many people today, and even struck up some conversations with strangers. I feel like I have extended myself socially, resulting in my meeting Skip from Colorado. Yes, his name is Skip. He was pretty cute, though. For now, goodnight!