Choir, Meet Blogging

So, just thought I'd post this assignment that I wrote for my choir class, of all things. I love our teacher, and every semester he assigns a few "Comfort Zone" assignments, in which we must do something to break from our comfort zone and write a little about it. The first one is due today, and my comfort zone break correlates with the world of blogging and self-portraiture. Enjoy!

Emily Wood

September 30, 2008

University Chorale, Fall 2008

Comfort Zone Assignment 1

I come from a family of documenteurs. The bookshelves in my family room are filled with albums and albums chronicling family birthdays, recitals, holidays, and life. Recently, my Mom, sister, and I have entered the world of blogging; almost daily I read the newest posts on their blogs and those of my two closest cousins. My two cousins are married with families of their own, and I love reading about their lives, and seeing the pictures they take to document everyday life. My blog is often neglected, as is my personal photo documentation. Though my blogging family and friends have no problems snapping shots in public, I feel stupid standing in the middle of a store or other populated location and taking a self-portrait or staging a photo, even though I really want to.

In deciding how to break from my comfort zone, I had a hard time picking something, because so many things that, previous to coming to college, would be way outside my level of comfort came easily in the new environment. Most things I thought of doing turned out to be not so hard. One thing way outside of my comfort came last week however, in the form of the testing center. The testing itself wasn’t bad, and though I had to secretly follow someone I recognized from my class into the building, seeing as I had no idea how to get there, I was okay with the experience itself. My blogger sense however, tingled with the importance of this occasion; with dread, I realized that it required documentation.

For some reason that morning, I packed my camera in my school bag, so I had all the tools I needed to capture this momentous occasion forever. I knew that I would regret passing up this opportunity as I have so many times before because I’ve been afraid of seeming dorky for snapping pictures of things that seem trivial to most people. With that in mind, I pulled out my camera, stood back so as to get the whole building in view and took a picture. The people studying outside probably thought I was a freak, and my actions practically shouted to the world that “ Hey! I’m a freshman!” but I didn’t care. I then proceeded to stand in front of the building and take a self-portrait expressing my terror and apprehension at visiting the testing center.

I am so glad to have those pictures, and can now blog about my experience. I might even make a scrapbook page out of them! This helped me be okay with who I am and what I like to do. Much like in choir, I need to be okay with loving choir and music, even if that makes me do dorky things sometimes. People can think what they want, but, as sung by Jimmy Eat World, “I can’t help it, baby, this is who I am,” and I will stand in the middle of campus and take picture of myself if I want to.

My Wall!

I can't believe I almost forgot to post about my wall! For of all of last summer, I was planning how to make my dorm room cute and cozy. Charlotte helped me make photo grids, and I went thrifting for old vinyl records before I came out to Provo. The space between my shelves the perfect size, and I was so excited to put it up. Two weeks ago, I finally finished the grids and went with Charlotte's roommate to Costco (she has a card, and Costco is my favorite place for pictures. Plus, it made me happy to be in the place where I've spent so many errand-running afternoons with Mom and Grandma) to have them printed. I also went dumpster diving behind the physics department to get cardboard for mounting the grids. It was so much fun putting up my grids and record sleeves, because it was my vision realized and I love having created a piece of art. 

This is it! Sorry for the lame picture; it's hard to stand back far enough to get a good shot, and get the right lighting in a cramped dorm room. 

In case it's hard to distinguish, the vinyls are "Disco Source," "Chopin's Greatest Hits," The Go-Go's "Beauty and the Beat," and Kool & The Gang's "Emergency." I'll post close-ups later, but for now the overall effect will have to suffice. 

Study break over. Back to work!

One Among the Crowd

I saw a group on Facebook this week called BYU: Where your best hasn't been good enough since 1875. I thought this was funny, and so appropriate. There are so many people here, and it's easy to feel lost. Also, I don't know what I want to study, so I feel even more lost, because I'm just drifting along in the sea of general education credits. So, last year I thought I wanted to be in the music program. After my failed audition and spending more time around music majors and the like, I realized that I really don't fit in that department. I can't be that crazy about music; I love singing in choirs and playing piano, but I don't think I'm right for the super-technical, competitive music education that is BYU College of the Fine Arts.

The thing about me is that I'm pretty mellow. Some people latch onto a passion and it fits them and they love studying and submersing themselves in it and working for excellence within said field. I, however, haven't found that yet. Commitment is tricky for me; I'm great with making to-do lists and goals and plans, but the excitement often tapers off a little while into the execution. Thus, I can't see myself studying one particular field for the next 4 years.

Outside of my academic goals, I've been feeling a little lost spiritually. The adjustment and balancing act that has been my first weeks of college has left me feeling distant from the Savior. I've been dealing again with the question of how I can keep from slumping in my spirituality. I know that all I have to do is make time for scriptures and prayer, but it's been hard with adjusting to my new schedule and work load. This last week I've really been trying to get back to feeling the Spirit throughout my day, because I can do nothing without Christ and His strength. I need Him, and I need to find a way to stay close.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last couple weeks, and today I received some answers and comfort. Our Relief Society president gave a really good lesson today on a conference talk last April by Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander called "One Among the Crowd." He talks about the story in Luke about the woman among the thronging crowd that surrounded Jesus who came "resolutely and quietly" to Christ. She barely reached out to touch just the hem of his robes, but He felt her, and she was healed. I may be just one among many, but any effort I make to come closer to Christ will be felt, and he will give me healing amidst my own trials. Elder Neuenschwander speaks so eloquently and his words really touched me and taught me what I needed to know:

"Though buried among the thronging mass, she resolutely and quietly pressed forward with a single purpose in mind: to come to the Savior, having faith that He had the power to heal her, that He cared about her and would respond to her need . . . We all have faith that just a touch will bring healing to our aching souls and relief to our innermost needs . . . Who better than the Savior can reach, support, and ultimately rescue the one among the crowd?" 

I'll post more about my life soon, but for now I'm going to study for the THREE tests I have over the next week. 

Against the Odds

After my classes on Tuesday afternoon, I went over to Charlotte's to bake cookies for Wednesday night's "Office" marathon and encountered a problem: I have been spoiled my entire life with regular access to an incredibly well-equipped kitchen.

My disadvantages: 

a. The Creamery does not have Land O Lakes margarine, which is the key to perfect chocolate chip cookies.

b. I needed to make a double batch, but didn't have a Bosch mixer; mixing six dozen cookies worth of dough with hand mixer is tricky.

c. Along with not having the proper mixing appliance, I didn't have a bowl deep enough to accommodate said large amount of dough, so had to resort to a rather shallow bowl, which resulted in the dough-splattered kitchen as pictured below.

 
After some deal of problem-solving and hand-mixering finesse, I mixed the dough. 

Then I had to face the problem of actually baking the cookies.

Now, I grew up in a kitchen where a cookie dough scoop was a staple, and as a result, uniformly shaped, perfect cookies. Alas, college kitchens are different, forcing me to use two spoons to form the dough into bake-able balls. The result was overall successful, and though they went very flat, I blame the unsatisfactory margarine more than anything else. I'm very grateful for access to Charlotte's kitchen, as my dorm building's kitchen is far worse in its quality of accommodations. (One of the guys who came to watch the "Office" made cookies in his dorm basement with only a 3/4 cup measure and a teaspoon. I was impressed.) So, an overall successful first college baking endeavor. The cookies were a hit, and I look forward to many chances to work my way back up to chocolate chip cookie excellence.

Another Weekend at the Y!

In my second week of classes, I am adjusting more and more to the new classes, schedules, and living arrangements. I'm really enjoying my classes, especially Music Civ., which studies art, literature, and music of Ancient Greece up to the 1700's. My professor, Dr. Howard, is hilarious, and easy to understand. He is also from Australia, so his accent makes class all the more enjoyable. I also really love American Heritage, because we get to look at all the great things about America and all the divine influences that made our nation's founding possible. I've been able to keep up with the reading and assignments okay, but I need to work on committing the material more to memory so that I'll really know it for the tests.

So, after another week of work, classes and studying, this weekend was much anticipated, and way fun. As planned, Jessica and I went to the party at Katie's house with Charlotte, Brooke, and Tyler. Her house was so much fun, and Jessica and I were relieved that nobody asked us how old we were or where we live. We didn't relish the thought of admitting our lowly status to a pool full of Juniors and Seniors.

Saturday was game day, and a fantastic one at that. I love wearing my blue and white, and going to the games with hundreds of other Cougar fans. I couldn't help but laughing to myself about the people sitting behind us in the stands. Clearly Blue-Blooded Alumni, the husband/wife fanatic duo commented several times on fellow spectators' level of Cougar Commitment. At one point, a girl walked up to our section wearing a pink tank top, talked on her cell phone for a while, chatted with some friends, then walked back down. The Ultimate Fans sitting behind us commented that "She's not here to see the game. She's here to be seen. She's here for the guys." Their comments and evaluations were pretty funny sometimes. Unlike the girl in the pink tank top, however, I wore my school colors and cheered along with the rest. It was a blast, especially since we tore apart UCLA 59 to 0. Woohoo!

After the game, I finished up my laundry, put the sheets back on my bed, and did some homework before meeting up with my friends for dinner at Noodles. I had the Wisconsin Mac n' Cheese and a grapefruit Izze. Mmm. Following dinner, we went over to Jessica's family condo in Provo and watched "Hitch," then ended the night with a late night Krispy Kreme run. Again: mmm.

After church today, Kristen, Jessica, and I had a Fiesta Sunday lunch of bean and cheese burritos. Melissa gave me a can of dehydrated refried beans for my birthday, so we reconstituted some, broke up some of my BYU Creamery cheese, and heated up our burritos for a delicious lunch. We had extra beans, so I assembled a few more burritos to store in the refrigerator for future lunches.

Now I'm going to paint my nails, read the "Lucky" magazine Mom sent me this week, and get ready for dinner at Charlotte's! Happy Sunday everyone!

A Turning Point!

Warning: This post is lengthy. Due to a full, exciting, and ShamTastic weekend, I have much to report and for which to express gratitude. Please bear with me.

So, this past week was little tough. When I was able to stay busy, I was okay, because homework plans and campus navigation drove homesickness out of my mind. However, when night came around and I had to head back to my dorm room after work or a night at Charlotte's, the blue had a painful way of setting in. I knew that moving away would be hard, but constantly battling with this sadness and desire to be back home was so hard. I hate it when I start to cry in public, (like at work on Wednesday) and I was so tired of always trying to hold back. I knew that this was something I needed to get through, and most importantly, I knew that I couldn't get through without the Lord. All week I have been praying for strength, and for me to feel like myself again. I think that when I moved here, I lost myself for a little while among the deluge of new things. I realize that this happened because am I myself, Emily Anne Wood, in my most original form when I am with my friends and my family. I can be dorky, goofy, and eccentric and have fun; that is why I love them. For all of last week (which I realize was only 7 days, but it felt sooo much longer) I didn't have that (unless I was with Charlotte) and that's what I think I was missing. I can get over having to do laundry in the grim basement and missing out on homemade bread every week, but I need to be able to be myself or BYU will never feel like home, no matter how much I decorate my room. That is exactly why this weekend was one of the greatest tender mercies the Lord has shown me.

Work was hard on Friday. The last hour and a half of my shift was an internal battle of holding back tears by singing t.v. show theme songs. Crying in the copy room is a sad thing indeed. This being the case, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the Helaman Halls Blu-au. (luau + blue, as in the BYU school colors. It took me while to figure that one out) I really wanted to stay in my room, cry while everyone else was gone, and wallow. I felt like I should try to be social, though, because the Lord can't help me make friends if I'm in my pajamas, watching Gilmore Girls. After eating the rest of my Double Stuf Oreos when I got back from work, I put on my best jeans, a cute shirt, and my sequin espedrils; suddenly, I felt social. I went to the Blu-au with my suitemates, and we met up at first with some people we already knew. Soon, however, we started talking to new people, and I talked for almost an hour with a really cute guy. I joined my friends for some dancing until the Blu-au ended at 9. Just days previous, this time would be a wonderful chance for me to escape back to my room to be blue, but I wasn't blue! I was having so much fun, and wanted to stay out and do more! While contemplating with my suitemates what to do next, we bumped into Kirsten, a really cute girl from my floor. She was on her way to play Sardines in the library with some people she met that night. We tagged along, and had so much fun. The best part was that I had the kind of fun I have with my friends and family at home. We joked around with Harry Potter references, I told them all about the ShamWow, and for the first time that night, I wasn't sad to be here instead of at home. Furthermore, I was excited to be here, and loving everything I have to look forward to, including my plans to hike the Y with the Sardines group!

So, word of advice to anyone who plans to hike a steep and switchback-filled mountain with new friends: make sure their athletic level doesn't surpass yours by leaps and bounds. Yeah. Upon arriving at our designated meeting place on Campus Saturday morning, I find that I am the only one in non-athletically designed clothing, (Shade shirts and H&M capris don't make that cut, I guess) and that we will be jogging to the trailhead. Yes, jogging across campus, into the foothills neighborhood, and up severely steep hills. Luckily, the group slowed to a quick walk by the end, but I was pretty tired before we even stepped on the trail.
The trail was tough, and I definitely struggled more than anyone else, but what I loved is that nobody seemed to mind. I did get a couple "You don't look so great" comments, but I kept going, and made it to the top! What I also loved is that I was never alone in the back of the pack. One of the guys, who could easily pass me, would come to the back with me, offering assistance, and providing a buddy. Everyone was so easy to talk to, and I knew that I had found friends.

Upon returning to campus, we had lunch together after some well-earned showers, and had a lot of fun talking. Again, I loved it because I felt like myself.


Sunday was an amazing day as well. All the BYU stakes got to attend the regional conference live in the Mariott center. The music was beautiful, the messages powerful, and the spirit of being among so many Saints and two Apostles was stirring. That night, Elder Holland gave a CES fireside, which spoke directly to my heart. I left feeling so uplifted and happy. I recommend to everyone to find a transcript and read it. His message about the lessons we learn from Joseph Smith's imprisonment in Liberty Jail is powerful and life changing.

That night, I went to the floor lounge of the guys dorm where our hiking buddies live, and we played Harry Potter Uno with some of them and some other guys who happened to come down, including the guy I talked to for a while on Friday night. We made plans for an "Office" night during visiting hours on Wednesday night, for which I'm going to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies. I love instigating plans, making friends, and feeling like a fun, social college student.

I look back on how I felt at this time last week, and can't believe how much I've been blessed. The Lord never leaves us in our trials, especially in the ones we can't avoid, like homesickness. He stays with us, and will always deliver us to happiness again.

Emily Wood, College Student

Welcome to my room! In the following photos, you can feel like you're here with me.

This is my favorite desk drawer, as it contains my cutting board, knife, cute bowls, Rachel Ray snack plates, hot cocoa mug, measuring cups, and plastic utensils taken from Legends Grille. I plan on buying my own tonight from Smith's.

I love having my ribbon and jewelry hooks right by my desk. They fill and brighten the could-be dreary space.

View from the doorway. Note the cozy light coming from one of my two lamps. I love not having to rely on florescent lighting, especially when applying makeup.

These are my heels in boxes to keep them safe. I also like shoe boxes because some of them are pretty cute, though not as cute as the shoes inside!

My hanging closet space is rather limited, but I managed to fit my coats, dresses, and skirts. I wish I had room for some of my shirts, but luckily I have a lot of drawer space.

This is my work space. Note my cute MacBook, matching white printer, basket of earrings and bracelets, makeup bowl, and Bed, Bath, & Beyond clearance lamp.

I love my full, colorful shelves. So many girls' rooms feel empty, and having shelves filled with my books, DVDs, accessories, and Urban Dictionary makes my room feel more like a home.

Close-up of the wall right behind my desk. I like to cover up as much of the white cinder block as possible, and what better to do that with than a giant initial, modern memo board, and my favorite handmade lunch sack, courtesy of Sarah. (This particular brown bag portrays a picture of a mop, and the label: It is a mop! I got an entire set of custom bags last Christmas, and I just couldn't use this one.)

Here you see my coordinating bedding, all courtesy of Susan. I feel so safe and cozy in my aqua and lime quilt, blanket, and polka dotted sheets. Also note the cozy display in the shelf next to my bed. I got the lamp for 5 dollars at a thrift store, and it was brand new, never used, from Target. It was abandoned to the thrift store because of a missing leg, but Grandpa's Mighty Putty did the trick! 

Bargain lamp: $5. Rick rack lampshade: $13. Cozy lighting in my dorm: Priceless.

Finally, my under bed display of flats, tool box, and laundry basket.

Thank you for joining me this evening.

 Be sure to stay tuned for more updates on my life at the Y!

You Can't Say I Didn't Try

So, the time I was going to dedicate to a post about my new room and all the cute stuff in it was spent tonight in an effort to be social. I really didn't feel like it, and would have enjoyed staying in my room, wearing my pajamas, reading my Physical Science homework, and taking a shower. An invitation to join in a game of foosball with my suitemates and a couple of their friends disrupted my solitary plans, and since my last few nights have been spent either with Charlotte or in my room, I decided to put off Newton's Laws of Motion, and socialize. I don't want to give people the impression that I am anti-social, but I'm just trying to get a hold of the balancing act of homework, classes, and work right now. I don't want to get behind, and if that means being hermit-like, that's okay with me. Enough of ranting. The foosball was overall mediocre, as I didn't even get to play and one the plastic men on our team's side of the table was missing legs. I think I might try to fix it one day with Mighty Putty. It will be my gift to the boys of Budge Hall. Anyway, this is my late night update that I'm doing okay, and haven't abandoned blogging, like in previous times. Tomorrow I'm going to the Luau for Helaman Halls, which should be fun. This weekend is my time to catch up, and at that time I will provide a more organized and exciting update of College Emily.