A Turning Point!

Warning: This post is lengthy. Due to a full, exciting, and ShamTastic weekend, I have much to report and for which to express gratitude. Please bear with me.

So, this past week was little tough. When I was able to stay busy, I was okay, because homework plans and campus navigation drove homesickness out of my mind. However, when night came around and I had to head back to my dorm room after work or a night at Charlotte's, the blue had a painful way of setting in. I knew that moving away would be hard, but constantly battling with this sadness and desire to be back home was so hard. I hate it when I start to cry in public, (like at work on Wednesday) and I was so tired of always trying to hold back. I knew that this was something I needed to get through, and most importantly, I knew that I couldn't get through without the Lord. All week I have been praying for strength, and for me to feel like myself again. I think that when I moved here, I lost myself for a little while among the deluge of new things. I realize that this happened because am I myself, Emily Anne Wood, in my most original form when I am with my friends and my family. I can be dorky, goofy, and eccentric and have fun; that is why I love them. For all of last week (which I realize was only 7 days, but it felt sooo much longer) I didn't have that (unless I was with Charlotte) and that's what I think I was missing. I can get over having to do laundry in the grim basement and missing out on homemade bread every week, but I need to be able to be myself or BYU will never feel like home, no matter how much I decorate my room. That is exactly why this weekend was one of the greatest tender mercies the Lord has shown me.

Work was hard on Friday. The last hour and a half of my shift was an internal battle of holding back tears by singing t.v. show theme songs. Crying in the copy room is a sad thing indeed. This being the case, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the Helaman Halls Blu-au. (luau + blue, as in the BYU school colors. It took me while to figure that one out) I really wanted to stay in my room, cry while everyone else was gone, and wallow. I felt like I should try to be social, though, because the Lord can't help me make friends if I'm in my pajamas, watching Gilmore Girls. After eating the rest of my Double Stuf Oreos when I got back from work, I put on my best jeans, a cute shirt, and my sequin espedrils; suddenly, I felt social. I went to the Blu-au with my suitemates, and we met up at first with some people we already knew. Soon, however, we started talking to new people, and I talked for almost an hour with a really cute guy. I joined my friends for some dancing until the Blu-au ended at 9. Just days previous, this time would be a wonderful chance for me to escape back to my room to be blue, but I wasn't blue! I was having so much fun, and wanted to stay out and do more! While contemplating with my suitemates what to do next, we bumped into Kirsten, a really cute girl from my floor. She was on her way to play Sardines in the library with some people she met that night. We tagged along, and had so much fun. The best part was that I had the kind of fun I have with my friends and family at home. We joked around with Harry Potter references, I told them all about the ShamWow, and for the first time that night, I wasn't sad to be here instead of at home. Furthermore, I was excited to be here, and loving everything I have to look forward to, including my plans to hike the Y with the Sardines group!

So, word of advice to anyone who plans to hike a steep and switchback-filled mountain with new friends: make sure their athletic level doesn't surpass yours by leaps and bounds. Yeah. Upon arriving at our designated meeting place on Campus Saturday morning, I find that I am the only one in non-athletically designed clothing, (Shade shirts and H&M capris don't make that cut, I guess) and that we will be jogging to the trailhead. Yes, jogging across campus, into the foothills neighborhood, and up severely steep hills. Luckily, the group slowed to a quick walk by the end, but I was pretty tired before we even stepped on the trail.
The trail was tough, and I definitely struggled more than anyone else, but what I loved is that nobody seemed to mind. I did get a couple "You don't look so great" comments, but I kept going, and made it to the top! What I also loved is that I was never alone in the back of the pack. One of the guys, who could easily pass me, would come to the back with me, offering assistance, and providing a buddy. Everyone was so easy to talk to, and I knew that I had found friends.

Upon returning to campus, we had lunch together after some well-earned showers, and had a lot of fun talking. Again, I loved it because I felt like myself.


Sunday was an amazing day as well. All the BYU stakes got to attend the regional conference live in the Mariott center. The music was beautiful, the messages powerful, and the spirit of being among so many Saints and two Apostles was stirring. That night, Elder Holland gave a CES fireside, which spoke directly to my heart. I left feeling so uplifted and happy. I recommend to everyone to find a transcript and read it. His message about the lessons we learn from Joseph Smith's imprisonment in Liberty Jail is powerful and life changing.

That night, I went to the floor lounge of the guys dorm where our hiking buddies live, and we played Harry Potter Uno with some of them and some other guys who happened to come down, including the guy I talked to for a while on Friday night. We made plans for an "Office" night during visiting hours on Wednesday night, for which I'm going to bake homemade chocolate chip cookies. I love instigating plans, making friends, and feeling like a fun, social college student.

I look back on how I felt at this time last week, and can't believe how much I've been blessed. The Lord never leaves us in our trials, especially in the ones we can't avoid, like homesickness. He stays with us, and will always deliver us to happiness again.