One Among the Crowd

I saw a group on Facebook this week called BYU: Where your best hasn't been good enough since 1875. I thought this was funny, and so appropriate. There are so many people here, and it's easy to feel lost. Also, I don't know what I want to study, so I feel even more lost, because I'm just drifting along in the sea of general education credits. So, last year I thought I wanted to be in the music program. After my failed audition and spending more time around music majors and the like, I realized that I really don't fit in that department. I can't be that crazy about music; I love singing in choirs and playing piano, but I don't think I'm right for the super-technical, competitive music education that is BYU College of the Fine Arts.

The thing about me is that I'm pretty mellow. Some people latch onto a passion and it fits them and they love studying and submersing themselves in it and working for excellence within said field. I, however, haven't found that yet. Commitment is tricky for me; I'm great with making to-do lists and goals and plans, but the excitement often tapers off a little while into the execution. Thus, I can't see myself studying one particular field for the next 4 years.

Outside of my academic goals, I've been feeling a little lost spiritually. The adjustment and balancing act that has been my first weeks of college has left me feeling distant from the Savior. I've been dealing again with the question of how I can keep from slumping in my spirituality. I know that all I have to do is make time for scriptures and prayer, but it's been hard with adjusting to my new schedule and work load. This last week I've really been trying to get back to feeling the Spirit throughout my day, because I can do nothing without Christ and His strength. I need Him, and I need to find a way to stay close.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last couple weeks, and today I received some answers and comfort. Our Relief Society president gave a really good lesson today on a conference talk last April by Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander called "One Among the Crowd." He talks about the story in Luke about the woman among the thronging crowd that surrounded Jesus who came "resolutely and quietly" to Christ. She barely reached out to touch just the hem of his robes, but He felt her, and she was healed. I may be just one among many, but any effort I make to come closer to Christ will be felt, and he will give me healing amidst my own trials. Elder Neuenschwander speaks so eloquently and his words really touched me and taught me what I needed to know:

"Though buried among the thronging mass, she resolutely and quietly pressed forward with a single purpose in mind: to come to the Savior, having faith that He had the power to heal her, that He cared about her and would respond to her need . . . We all have faith that just a touch will bring healing to our aching souls and relief to our innermost needs . . . Who better than the Savior can reach, support, and ultimately rescue the one among the crowd?" 

I'll post more about my life soon, but for now I'm going to study for the THREE tests I have over the next week.