Crazy, Crazy Week

So, I had my first BYU midterm experience this week. Actually, it won't be finished until Tuesday night when I take my 3 hour long American Heritage test. (I took my Book of Mormon test on Thursday in class and my ELang test Friday in the testing center.) Last weekend, I wasn't expecting this week to be so crazy, because I was ignorant of the fact that I had finals in Book of Mormon and ELang. So not only did I have to worry about learning everything that I've heard in American Heritage lectures, readings, and labs, but I had to worry about transferring all my Book of Mormon notes into my Book of Mormon, finishing up an IPA transcription comparison assignment with Glen from ELang, and studying up on productivity of language, vowel placement, and consonant articulation. My nights consisted of studying as much as I could until I fell asleep at my desk , which normally happened around 2 a.m. I experienced so many miracles, however. The fact that I was able to get through work and classes on Tuesday and Wednesday without falling asleep was such a blessing. I had energy, excitement, and my study time was productive. 

I had my ups and downs this week (the downs were greatly improved Thursday night when Charlotte brought me fresh-baked Banana Chocolate Chip Bars =) ) and it ended on a good note, with two tests successfully taken and over with. 

The funniest part of this week was having to listen to the recording of Glen from ELang saying the list of 28 words and transcribing them into phonetic symbols at 1 in the morning. He had a recording of me saying the same words, and we met a couple times this week to compare our pronunciations. It was really overwhelming at first, but now I feel pretty awesome that I can classify vowels and consonants by their articulation and placement. 

I learned a lot this week about college and balancing and studying. I also learned that when I do all that I can, the Lord compensates physically and spiritually.  

Blue Line Deli Insight

I'm sitting here, studying in the Blue Line Deli, and was thinking about how great it will feel when my week of tests is over and I won't have the constant pressure of needing to study and cram and worry about knowing everything I'll need for the tests. I realized with a bit of dread that more times like this will come; there will be more tests, and more stressful, difficult times. What's great though, is that in the end, we will be on the relief end of this cycle. When Christ comes again and we are able to live with Him, there will be no more worrying. That's so reassuring! My salad may have been old, but the Blue Line Deli delivers! 

Choir, Meet Blogging

So, just thought I'd post this assignment that I wrote for my choir class, of all things. I love our teacher, and every semester he assigns a few "Comfort Zone" assignments, in which we must do something to break from our comfort zone and write a little about it. The first one is due today, and my comfort zone break correlates with the world of blogging and self-portraiture. Enjoy!

Emily Wood

September 30, 2008

University Chorale, Fall 2008

Comfort Zone Assignment 1

I come from a family of documenteurs. The bookshelves in my family room are filled with albums and albums chronicling family birthdays, recitals, holidays, and life. Recently, my Mom, sister, and I have entered the world of blogging; almost daily I read the newest posts on their blogs and those of my two closest cousins. My two cousins are married with families of their own, and I love reading about their lives, and seeing the pictures they take to document everyday life. My blog is often neglected, as is my personal photo documentation. Though my blogging family and friends have no problems snapping shots in public, I feel stupid standing in the middle of a store or other populated location and taking a self-portrait or staging a photo, even though I really want to.

In deciding how to break from my comfort zone, I had a hard time picking something, because so many things that, previous to coming to college, would be way outside my level of comfort came easily in the new environment. Most things I thought of doing turned out to be not so hard. One thing way outside of my comfort came last week however, in the form of the testing center. The testing itself wasn’t bad, and though I had to secretly follow someone I recognized from my class into the building, seeing as I had no idea how to get there, I was okay with the experience itself. My blogger sense however, tingled with the importance of this occasion; with dread, I realized that it required documentation.

For some reason that morning, I packed my camera in my school bag, so I had all the tools I needed to capture this momentous occasion forever. I knew that I would regret passing up this opportunity as I have so many times before because I’ve been afraid of seeming dorky for snapping pictures of things that seem trivial to most people. With that in mind, I pulled out my camera, stood back so as to get the whole building in view and took a picture. The people studying outside probably thought I was a freak, and my actions practically shouted to the world that “ Hey! I’m a freshman!” but I didn’t care. I then proceeded to stand in front of the building and take a self-portrait expressing my terror and apprehension at visiting the testing center.

I am so glad to have those pictures, and can now blog about my experience. I might even make a scrapbook page out of them! This helped me be okay with who I am and what I like to do. Much like in choir, I need to be okay with loving choir and music, even if that makes me do dorky things sometimes. People can think what they want, but, as sung by Jimmy Eat World, “I can’t help it, baby, this is who I am,” and I will stand in the middle of campus and take picture of myself if I want to.

My Wall!

I can't believe I almost forgot to post about my wall! For of all of last summer, I was planning how to make my dorm room cute and cozy. Charlotte helped me make photo grids, and I went thrifting for old vinyl records before I came out to Provo. The space between my shelves the perfect size, and I was so excited to put it up. Two weeks ago, I finally finished the grids and went with Charlotte's roommate to Costco (she has a card, and Costco is my favorite place for pictures. Plus, it made me happy to be in the place where I've spent so many errand-running afternoons with Mom and Grandma) to have them printed. I also went dumpster diving behind the physics department to get cardboard for mounting the grids. It was so much fun putting up my grids and record sleeves, because it was my vision realized and I love having created a piece of art. 

This is it! Sorry for the lame picture; it's hard to stand back far enough to get a good shot, and get the right lighting in a cramped dorm room. 

In case it's hard to distinguish, the vinyls are "Disco Source," "Chopin's Greatest Hits," The Go-Go's "Beauty and the Beat," and Kool & The Gang's "Emergency." I'll post close-ups later, but for now the overall effect will have to suffice. 

Study break over. Back to work!

One Among the Crowd

I saw a group on Facebook this week called BYU: Where your best hasn't been good enough since 1875. I thought this was funny, and so appropriate. There are so many people here, and it's easy to feel lost. Also, I don't know what I want to study, so I feel even more lost, because I'm just drifting along in the sea of general education credits. So, last year I thought I wanted to be in the music program. After my failed audition and spending more time around music majors and the like, I realized that I really don't fit in that department. I can't be that crazy about music; I love singing in choirs and playing piano, but I don't think I'm right for the super-technical, competitive music education that is BYU College of the Fine Arts.

The thing about me is that I'm pretty mellow. Some people latch onto a passion and it fits them and they love studying and submersing themselves in it and working for excellence within said field. I, however, haven't found that yet. Commitment is tricky for me; I'm great with making to-do lists and goals and plans, but the excitement often tapers off a little while into the execution. Thus, I can't see myself studying one particular field for the next 4 years.

Outside of my academic goals, I've been feeling a little lost spiritually. The adjustment and balancing act that has been my first weeks of college has left me feeling distant from the Savior. I've been dealing again with the question of how I can keep from slumping in my spirituality. I know that all I have to do is make time for scriptures and prayer, but it's been hard with adjusting to my new schedule and work load. This last week I've really been trying to get back to feeling the Spirit throughout my day, because I can do nothing without Christ and His strength. I need Him, and I need to find a way to stay close.

I've been thinking about this a lot over the last couple weeks, and today I received some answers and comfort. Our Relief Society president gave a really good lesson today on a conference talk last April by Elder Dennis B. Neuenschwander called "One Among the Crowd." He talks about the story in Luke about the woman among the thronging crowd that surrounded Jesus who came "resolutely and quietly" to Christ. She barely reached out to touch just the hem of his robes, but He felt her, and she was healed. I may be just one among many, but any effort I make to come closer to Christ will be felt, and he will give me healing amidst my own trials. Elder Neuenschwander speaks so eloquently and his words really touched me and taught me what I needed to know:

"Though buried among the thronging mass, she resolutely and quietly pressed forward with a single purpose in mind: to come to the Savior, having faith that He had the power to heal her, that He cared about her and would respond to her need . . . We all have faith that just a touch will bring healing to our aching souls and relief to our innermost needs . . . Who better than the Savior can reach, support, and ultimately rescue the one among the crowd?" 

I'll post more about my life soon, but for now I'm going to study for the THREE tests I have over the next week.